You Can't Win

"Poor old engine! It's no good, Stuart. You can't win!"

- Duke embarrassing Stuart

You Can't Win is the fourth episode of the fourth series. It is based on the story of the same name from the Railway Series book, Duke the Lost Engine.

Plot
Long ago, when Peter Sam and Sir Handel were respectively known as Stuart and Falcon, holiday makers would visit Duke's old line every year to visit the lakes, the mountains and most of all, Duke himself. With knowledge of all the best picnic spots, he would take the visitors wherever they wanted to go and would cheerfully whistle a reminder to be back in time to be collected so they did not miss their boat to the mainland. Duke never wished to disappoint the holiday makers and so would pull his train even if he was unwell.

One day, Duke is feeling short of steam, so he rests whilst his crew clean his tubes. Stuart arrives and teases Duke, telling him that they will have to keep an eye on him in case of a breakdown. Duke storms off in a huff, but soon feels better as he makes his evening run. As he begins to climb the hill, however, he suddenly feels short of steam again as his valves begin leaking. Duke realises the journey will not be as easy as he initially thought, but struggles on until he reaches the next station, where his driver checks him over whilst the passengers wait anxiously. The guard informs them that Falcon and Stuart will help Duke reach the harbour in time. The two engines couple onto the train - Falcon in front and Stuart at the back - and they set off.

At the next station, Falcon takes Duke's train to the harbour on his own, whilst Stuart takes Falcon's train with Duke coupled behind him. Stuart is excited about rescuing a broken-down Duke and teases him as he sets off. Unbeknownst to Stuart, however, Duke's valves sound worse than they actually are and he still has plenty of steam. He and his driver decide to play a trick on Stuart and, when they reach the next hill, Duke suddenly puts all of his effort into pulling the train, making a loud racket as he does so and catching Stuart by surprise.

The two engines soon reach the last station and the passengers cheer loudly. A boy waiting at the platform asks his father why there are two engines pulling the train. Misunderstanding the situation, the man assumes that Stuart was the engine that broke down and Duke had to help him, not the other way around. Realising he has been tricked, Stuart angrily disappears in a cloud of steam while Duke enjoys his victory.

Characters

 * Duke
 * Falcon/Sir Handel
 * Stuart/Peter Sam
 * The Boy with His Father
 * Narrow Gauge Coaches
 * Thomas
 * Bertie
 * Refreshment Lady
 * One Little Boy
 * One member of the Railway Society
 * The Ffarquhar Stationmaster's Wife
 * The Injured Sailor

Locations

 * Island of Sodor
 * Tidmouth Sheds
 * The Mountain Line
 * Hawin Doorey
 * Sodor Castle
 * Forest Runby
 * Glennock
 * Mountainside Runby
 * Valley View
 * Cros-ny-Cuirn
 * Skarloey
 * Rheneas
 * Rheneas Sheds
 * Crovan's Gate
 * The Mainland

Trivia

 * Behind the scenes footage of the episode was filmed in 1994 as part of a segment for WIN Television's 60 Minutes titled The Making of Thomas the Tank Engine.
 * This is the last episode of a couple of things:
 * Duke's last individual speaking role, outside of a group line in the following fourth series episodes, Special Funnel and Steam Roller.
 * Duke's last leading role.
 * Peter Sam and Sir Handel's last appearances under their names "Stuart" and "Falcon". These names would be mentioned in passing one more time in Four Little Engines.
 * This is the only episode based on a story from Duke the Lost Engine not told by Thomas to the other standard gauge engines. However, like the other three episodes, it is presented as a flashback.
 * This is the only episode where Peter Sam's furious face with teeth appears along with the only episode where Duke is wearing his sad face.
 * This episode marks the first of a couple of things:
 * The first appearance of Falcon/Sir Handel's main whistle sound.
 * The first episode without the standard gauge engines' appearances or speaking role, although Thomas is seen in a deleted scene of this episode in the song Little Engines.
 * The first episode to feature only one standard gauge engine.
 * In a rare Japanese still, Duke is seen coupled in front of Stuart instead of behind him.
 * This is the fourth consecutive episode (following Granpuff, Sleeping Beauty and Bulldog) where it title drops (where one of the characters or the narrator mentions the episode's title within the episode itself), which is what happened when Duke says, "It's no good, Stuart. You can't win!"

Goofs

 * As Stuart is being coupled up to Duke, the latter is wearing Falcon/Sir Handel's angry face.
 * Throughout the episode, Stuart has Rheneas/Stepney's original whistle. But when Falcon and Stuart split-up at Rheneas' Station, Falcon has Rheneas/Stepney's original whistle and Stuart has Falcon's original whistle.
 * In a rare still of Stuart coupling up to Duke's train, his funnel is loose and his lining is peeling off.
 * The narrator says that Stuart took Falcon's train with Duke coupled behind, but Duke was still coupled up to his own train. It was also said that he was coupled behind when he was actually coupled in front to double head with Stuart.
 * When Stuart is coupling up to the brake van, his nameplate is a bit crooked.

Quotes

 * Stuart: Hello, Granpuff! Are you short of puff?
 * Duke: Nothing of the sort. This is routine maintenance.
 * Stuart: Tell you what, you're getting old. We must take care of you in case you breakdown.
 * Duke: Huh! That'll be the day.




 * Duke: [about his journey] It's not so easy! It's not so easy! But I'll manage.




 * Guard: Duke is going to take you to the harbour, but he might be late. So two engines are coming to help. You'll still catch your boat.
 * [Stuart and Falcon arrive to the rescue, Falcon couples up front and Stuart is coupled behind]
 * Falcon: Poor old Granpuff. What a shame you broken down.
 * Stuart: Peep, Peep, Peep! This is the day!
 * Falcon: Are you ready?
 * Stuart: Yes I am!




 * [after Stuart and Duke have reached the station]
 * Boy: What happened? They don't usually need 2 engines.
 * Father: Well, Stuart broke down. Duke had to help him. It sounds as if he had a hard job, too.
 * Stuart: [covers himself in steam] FIDDLESTICKS!!
 * Duke: Poor old engine! It's no good, Stuart. You can't win.

Merchandise

 * Buzz Books - You Can't Win
 * Magazine Stories - Grand Old Duke

Home Media Releases
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UK

 * Thomas and Stepney and other Stories
 * The Complete Series 4
 * Seasonal Scrapes
 * 5 Episode Video

DVD Packs

 * Classic Collection

WAL

 * Thomas the Tank Engine: Bumper Special 2

AUS

 * Thomas and Stepney and other Stories
 * The Complete Series 4

DVD Packs

 * Complete Series 1-10
 * Classic Collection
 * Series Three and Series Four Double Pack

US

 * The Gallant Old Engine and Other Thomas Stories/Henry and the Elephant
 * Thomas & Friends Classic Volume 4

CAN

 * The Gallant Old Engine and Other Thomas Stories/Henry and the Elephant

GER

 * Like A Rock and 4 Other Adventures
 * Thomas and His Friends Vol. 7

JPN

 * New Thomas the Tank Engine Vol.2
 * The Complete Works of Thomas the Tank Engine 2 Vol. 5
 * I'm Busy Hurry Hurry!!

NZ

 * Thomas and Stepney and other Stories

NOR

 * Thomas and Stepney

GRC

 * A Day at the Station

DVD Boxsets

 * 3 DVD Boxset 2

KOR

 * Thomas and Friends Volume 3
 * For the Story of Determination

DK

 * Four Little Locomotives and Other Stories

MYS

 * Four Little Engines and Other Thomas Adventures
 * One Good Turn and Other Adventures

FIN

 * Rock 'n' Roll Locomotive

IND

 * Oliver Owns Up and Other Stories

ITA

 * The Sleeping Beauty

NL

 * The Greatest Stories: The Adventures of Thomas, Percy and Gordon
 * Merry Christmas!

UKR

 * A Train Thomas and Friends
 * Thomas and Friends - Series 4

CHN

 * Thomas and Friends Season 1-4

HK

 * Thomas and Friends Volume 9
 * Thomas and Friends Volume 12

THA

 * Thomas and Friends - Volume 12

TWN
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 * Thomas and Friends Volume 1

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